people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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