I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
