Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
