don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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