I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
