so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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