Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
