I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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