i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
