No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
