I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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