he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Are my feet made of real feet?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
