someone threw a dead crab at me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
