Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
