TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i came on her dog
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
