I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's blow job season.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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