I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
