I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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