I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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