wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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