He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
