Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
