My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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