Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
