And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
