Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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