think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
