he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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