my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Acid is not a monday night drug
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
