sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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