...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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