I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
