girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
