Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
