Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
