I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
