i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i barfeds in our rink
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
