I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
