New invention idea: vibrating tampons
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
