You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
