That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
