tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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