Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
