I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
