i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
