Having a random hookup so left but love u
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
