Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
