Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
worst night to have a conscience
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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