i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
