Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
tell your sister to shave her snatch
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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