She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
