I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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